


speak no evil

by hellfire



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 3, Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Anxiety, Multi, selective mutism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-05-30 03:22:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6406633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellfire/pseuds/hellfire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Courier Nickolas and a small snippet of the people he meets. He searching for someone, too, but it isn't Benny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	speak no evil

**Author's Note:**

> Originally released March 30th, 2016. Rereleased with editing and a better grasp of when I was writing about.

"What do you remember, son?" Doc Mitchell asks Courier Six, who is busy touching the nasty, puffy scar on his head. It's tender and it stings.

The Courier, Nickolas, shrugs, swallowing down his anxiety. He remembers a lot of things. If there was anything the old man wants to know in particular, he needs to be more specific. He takes his hand off of where the scar is, silently mourning the shaved section of his head, and motions for something to write with. The doc see Nickolas shaking, and isn't sure if it's due to brain trauma or anxiety.

Once he provides Nicolas the notepad and pen, the younger one gives an appreciative smile, even if he's nervous enough to puke.

 _Selective mutism,_ he explains, _And I remember enough to know that I probably don't have memory problems. My name is Nickolas Reyes, I'm almost 24, and I'm a Courier._

Doc reads it and laughs. "That sounds about right. Nickolas, right? Well, Nickolas, let's go test and see if your brain really IS working good, alright? And what vault did you crawl out of to get that Pip-boy?"

_101, back east. And was there a girl with me, or looking for me?_

Doc looks surprised. "That's pretty far away. A damn long way to travel just to work a courier job. And no, I can't say there was. After this, why don't you go into Goodsprings and ask around?"

Nickolas nods and tries to get up, but staggers back into the bed from the headrush. His heart pounds in his chest, and his vision stays black far longer than he's comfortable with.

"Woah now, calm down. Take it slow, son. You've been out for a while, y'need to take it easy. I promise that girl's be waiting for you once you're well enough."

 

 

"And why should I come with you?" Arcade Gannon asks, his tone sounding actually skeptical.

Nickolas raises a brow, takes a deep breath. The shirt he's wearing pulls tight across his chest, and he watches Arcade glance at it. He hangs his machete off of his belt, and pulls his notepad out of his pocket.

_Because I need a doctor's help while I'm out here trying to save the Mojave. And you're one of the most capable doctors I've ever met._

_And you don't make me nearly as anxious, which is a nice change,_ he thinks, but doesn't write that part down.

Arcade reads over it, nodding as he does. He reads it once more before handing it back. "Well, as flattering as that is, I'm going to have to decline. Following around a mute kid at least ten years younger than myself, and avoiding certain death everyday isn't on the agenda."

Nickolas frowns. Arcade raises a brow at him, cocks his head slightly. The younger man flips the page and scribbles something, and stares at it for a moment before handing it over.

 _Selective mutism as a result of severe childhood anxiety, thank you. Not mute. I actually can talk, when I feel safe. And I'm fairly certain that the thought of me feeling nice and safe and cozy while squeezed around your dick, moaning with a voice that only you get to hear, is convincing enough for you to go with me._ 

Arcade's face flushes so red that Nickolas is certain that he's going to boil himself alive. He opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water. His ears and his neck go red before he manages to bring himself to look at Nickolas again.

Nickolas gives him a curious look and motions towards the doors of the fort. Asking if he's convinced enough to go. Arcade takes his glasses of and cleans them with his coat as he pushes past the courier, mentioning in a mumble that he needs to grab some gear and tell Julie he's leaving.

 

 

"What the fuck is your problem?" Craig Boone snarls, backing Nickolas into the door. Already consumed with anxiety, he tries to keep himself from hyperventilating The mouth of the dinosaurs is far too enclosed, and Nickolas can't stand it. Small spaces remind him of the vault. Arcade is inside, oblivious to everything going on. Nickolas' heart beings to race harder.

He knows Boone's wife is dead. He's known this since the first time he passed through Novac, heard it through the grapevine, but he has the time to talk to him now. It's his second time back in Novac and he just wants to leave, but his "gotta help people" instinct won't let him walk away a second time.

Carla Boone was kidnapped by the Legion, and now she's dead. Boone seems assured that she's dead, and Nickolas has an inkling of why. Nickolas remembers watching his father die of radiation poisoning. He remembers _her_ dying the same way. His heart clenches just remembering it. His hands shake as he scribbles his note, the sniper staring him down.

_I know what it's like to lose someone you love. I watched my dad die at the hands of a group a lot like the Legion, except they had better armor and used guns. Fucking Enclave, if you know of the group. I hate the Legion, you hate the Legion, and you want revenge for what happened to your wife. I want to help you get that revenge, and more importantly, I want to help you get closure._

For half a second, he thinks Boone is going to tear his notepad in half. Or punch him, maybe. But he doesn't do either. He just shoves it back against Nickolas' chest and deflates, though his hard edge remains.

"Then find the bastard that did it."

Nickolas does. He scribbles a note, acts frantic, and gets them to follow. Watching Ms. Crawford's head explode into a spray of blood and matter is satisfying in a way that it shouldn't be.

 

 

"What's your deal?" Francine Garrett asks him in a gentle tone, serving him his third whiskey "on the house". Her twin brother watches her give him more free alcohol and bristles, but says nothing. Nickolas looks at their same faces, their unconsciously mirrored actions, and his chest aches.

 _Lonely,_ Nickolas tells her, a sad smile on his mouth and he tries to keep himself from tearing up. _Arcade is helping the Followers and Boone won't currently speak to me because I insulted his cooking. That, and I miss home. My family. It's shitty._

Francine makes a pitying noise and reaches across the bar to touch his forehead and hairline. "I'm sorry, kid. Losing family is rough, I know. James and I lost our parents when we were young."

He nods, letting her touch his face and hair while he wallows in loneliness. She doesn't make him nervous, but her brother does, and he can't bring himself to speak in front of him.

Though its been over four years, he still misses Amata. He has Arcade now, yes, but she was his first love. His best friend. He misses Dad, too, so so much. Moira, Barrows, Butch. Harkness and Red. Gob and Nova. All the people he met in the Wastes, back home in the east.

He misses the girl he traveled with, from coast to coast. They had each other, and Charon until he died. It was just the two of them, then. They took care of each other. She made sure he remembered to eat, and took care of social interaction for him. He would curl around her to keep her warm on the coldest of nights, when they couldn't find shelter.

He hasn't seen her since they were assigned packages. She was Courier Five, and he Six. He's sure she's not dead. He knows he would feel it if she was gone.

Fuck looking for Benny, he was looking for _her._

Francine makes a pitying noise at him when he blinks back tears and takes her hand off of his skin, opting to find him a handkerchief instead. James turns his head, and Nickolas is grateful for that.

 

"What's your deal?" James Garrett asks a few days later, not quite as nicely as his sister had. He doesn't like Nickolas, but since the guy had secured FISTO for him, he doesn't quite _dislike_ Nickolas either. Nickolas looks around behind the counter, and looks around the room while lazily scribbling a note.

_Just around. Francine anywhere nearby? I've tried to pay for those drinks for the past couple of days, but she's been at the bar and refused to let me._

James snorts and takes the measured bag of caps from him. "Of course she wouldn't. She's not one for a sob story, but you're young and she thinks you're cute."

Next to Nickolas, Arcade makes an ugly, amused noise. "She'd stop thinking that the moment she heard him snore." Nickolas rolls his eyes as shoves Arcade into a seat, passes him a bag of caps and motions for him to order a drink.

People begin to filter in while James and Arcade make small talk. He idly scratches at the freshly shaved part of his head while he listens, nails catching on the gunshot scar a few times. A girl sits one stool away from him after a while, making a clatter as she drops her pack to the floor. Her hair is short, choppy and uneven around her neck as if she'd cut off her ponytail or something. The ends were a faded maroon, but there rest was a natural brown-black. Upon noticing her, James drifts away from them and over to her. Nickolas takes that as the cue that the conversation between him and Arcade, if it could be called that, was over

"Hey! Haven't seen you in a while. How have you been?" James asks the girl, as Nickolas and Arcade get up. Nickolas glances over at her again, feeling a familiarity.

She laughs, and Nicholas stalls at the sound. Arcade tugs his sleeve, but he stays put. "Been good," she tells him. "Still delivering packages for the Mojave Express because I can't stay still, still looking for my brother. He's been making quite a stir recently, like how I did back home. Makes him hard to track because he won't stay still either. Been months since I've seen him."

"Nick, are you alright?" Arcade asks, giving his wrist a light tug. Nickolas pulls away and takes a step forward.

"Ashley?"

His voice is loud and foreign in his own ears, and the girl turns around. Her face was a softer, more feminine mirror of his. A set of big, brown eyes peer back at him, taking in his appearance before looking at his face. His breath catches in his chest and he feels the tears start to bubble up. Her eyes go wide, and her face splits into a grin.

She doesn't even get a chance to climb off of her stool before he's completely wrapped himself around her, lifting her up into a bear hug. Her fingers dig into his shirt like a lifeline, and his tighten into the leather of her coat.

"I thought I lost you again," he tells her, voice scratchy from disuse. "I thought I'd never see you again."

"Shit Nicky, how do you think I felt? We split up to deliver the packages and next thing I hear you're shot and for dead in a graveyard!" she muffles into his coat.

"We've both had a brush with the reaper now, huh? Guy has some shit aim with that scythe."

He gets her to laugh at that. He holds his sister, feeling the gaze of James, Arcade, and other patrons on him. He doesn't give a single fuck, too elated to be anxious. Nickolas and Ashley Reyes hold each other for just a moment longer, before pulling apart.

"Hey Ash, now that I've found you, you wanna help me punch the dick off of a guy in a checkered suit?"

She scoffs. "Is that even a question? Fuck yeah I do."

**Author's Note:**

> In case it wasn't clear:
> 
> Male Courier, going around in search of his twin sister (who was the Lone Wandered back home) and finding others along the way.
> 
> This is super shitty and I don't even care tbh. Just wanted to write about my twins


End file.
